


Heart's a Mess

by hondakinky



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, Humanstuck, M/M, porn star amporas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-22
Updated: 2015-04-06
Packaged: 2018-03-08 15:56:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3214976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hondakinky/pseuds/hondakinky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eridan always wanted to be an actor.<br/>He never thought he'd be this kind of actor.</p>
<p>companion fic to Cigarette Daydreams</p>
<p>loosely based off "Heart's a Mess" by Gotye</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I attempted to post this earlier with a different title, but it never showed up when I went to find it, plus I changed the title, so here it is. New chapters for each story will generally be posted around the same time (usually the same day), but there is not yet a set schedule for posting.  
> Enjoy.

Eridan heard someone yell ‘cut,’ and he stood up shakily. He’d always wanted to be an actor. He hoped this might finally be it.  
His older brother came up to him and threw his arm around his shoulder. “Good job, little bro. You’re a natural. I’m pretty sure you’re going to go far. Actually, I know you’re going to go far. You’re great at this. Just wait for the double one.”  
“The double one?”  
“Yeah, dad has it in store for you.” He nodded.  
“What do you mean?”  
“I mean…” He shrugged. “He’s got it lined up where two dudes fuck you at once.”  
“There’s only one hole.” Eridan frowned, crossing his arms.  
“Are you sure?” Cronus laughed. “I’m pretty sure you just got torn a new one.”  
“Cronus!”  
As previously mentioned, Eridan always wanted to be an actor.  
He never thought he’d be this kind of actor.


	2. Pick Apart The Pieces of Your Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan loves March.

“Do you really think he’s going to make me do this?” Eridan sighed, crossing his arms and pulling his deep purple robe tighter around him.

Cronus shrugged, looking down at him. “How the hell should I know? He’s usually pretty serious about this stuff.”

Eridan frowned. “I don’t want to.”

“You’ll be fine. Everyone does it.”

“You don’t.”

Cronus rolled his eyes. “That’s because I’m straight.”

Eridan snorted. “I’m pretty sure you’d get with anyone you could.”

“I’ve only ever had sex with women.”

“Yeah, but you’re a porn star. If you were to actually have a romantic relationship, you would totally get with anyone you could get your hands on, wouldn’t you?”

“That’s bullshit. I’m sure tons of people want to be with me.” Cronus crossed his arms. “I’m a star.”

“Yeah, a porn star.” Eridan chuckled.

“Hey, you’re one too.” Cronus snapped.

“Fine. Whatever. At least I’m a decent actor.”

“You know I want to be a musician, not an actor.”

“Still. I can act better than you. My movies are more believable.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Cronus frowned. “That’s not true at all.”

Eridan rolled his eyes and smoothed out his robe. He hated the damn thing, but it sure was comfortable. He loved the feeling and the color, but he hated the monogram and the meaning. It had the large ‘A’ stitched onto the breast pocket, and it was available on their website, so it wasn’t like he was special. Whenever he wore it, it meant he was either coming to set naked to playing the character who wanted to get ravished as soon as possible, or that he was wearing something embarrassing. That day, it was the latter.

As much as it seemed like it, the ‘A’ was not for ‘adulterer’ as it was in The Scarlet Letter. The ‘A’ was for his family name, Ampora. Also, Ampora Family Porn Industries. Yeah, it was a mouthful, but every time Eridan brought that up, someone told him he should get his mouth full of someone else’s privates.

Eridan was embarrassed by what he was wearing, but at the same time, it made him feel funny inside - and not in a necessarily bad way. He was wearing a bando top across his chest, and a red plaid skirt. He had on panties and high heels, which were uncomfortable. He had small extension pigtails added to his hair. This was to become his new March look.

The thought of being dressed like this more than once really freaked him out. Eridan didn’t mind being a pornstar, but he was pushed a little out past his comfort zone dressed like this in public, not to mention the whole thing would be on the internet and in magazines.

He looked around and saw his sister approaching him. It was odd. Usually Feferi and her sister never came over to their side of the industry.

Eridan’s father and Feferi’s mother had gotten married after both had kids out of wedlock, so they weren’t blood related. Half siblings. However, their parents both wanted to divorce, but, since they’d already started a large porn industry together, and neither of them was willing to pay for it, the divorce was put aside. They lived in different houses, though they were right next to each other, and Eridan and Feferi barely spoke to each other once they got into high school. Feferi had an on-and-off boyfriend junior and senior year of high school, but Eridan never met him simply because he was never around to see him. Feferi was - at least, according to her sister, Meenah, who did often speak with Cronus - devastated every time she and her boyfriend “took a break.” Eridan wanted to be there for her, but that was difficult with the rivalries that were going on between the two families.

His mother - if she could be called that - ran Peixes Megacorp. They weren’t actually a megacorporation, but the name stuck. According to Cronus, he and Meenah discovered the business during the divorce period, and that, according to their father, was why the divorce ceased to exist. Cronus and Meenah, being the teenagers they were at the time, decided to formulate a plan, which was presented to their parents. Cronus filmed it, which resulted in Eridan seeing it many times. Meenah and Cronus essentially drew out a diagram of how the porn would be split up. Peixes Megacorp - as Meenah called it - would specialize in lesbian porn and porn aimed for female viewers. Ampora Family Porn Industries would deal with gay porn and male viewers. In reality, it mainly consisted of Eridan getting screwed for their gay viewers, and Cronus pounding in women, with a dash of middle aged men porn, better known as Dualscar fucking younger women.

Eridan had always wondered why his dad’s friends called him Dualscar, and, once he was old enough, why that was his porn name. When asked, his father simply chuckled and told him he got in a fight. Cronus has similar scars, but that was because he was a crazed Harry Potter fan who didn’t realize that he could use marker, sharpie, eyeliner - anything - in place of scars. Eridan spent that Halloween in the hospital.

Feferi snapped Eridan out of his thoughts with a clipboard to the chest. “Hey!”

“What?” Eridan blinked, looking down at her.

“Mom told me that she wants her skirt back.” Feferi frowned.

“Well, tell her she can’t have it.” Eridan’s father set a hand on his shoulder.

Eridan tensed up.

“Because you’re wearing it today.”

Eridan sighed. “Yeah, I know.” He frowned.

“Well, she needs it back by tonight.” Feferi shrugged. “She’s filming something apparently.”

“Oh, cool. That sounds fun, I guess.” Eridan replied. “I’m filming something too.”

“Great.” Feferi rolled her eyes. “I don’t really care, Eridan. I’m just here to get the skirt.”

“I’ll drop it off when we’re done.”

“Thanks. You’re the best.” Feferi smiled at him. “I’ll see you then, maybe. I don’t know. Probably.”

* * *

 

Eridan heard the knock on his door while he was in the shower, trying to clean any make up, sweat, or other bodily fluids off his body. He was exhausted, and the hot water was doing wonders for his sore muscles. He called out, saying he was in the shower and to wait.

He stepped out and wrapped the purple towel around his waist before pulling his glasses on. He opened the door, and the fog cleared his glasses. Feferi was crying.

“Is something wrong?” Eridan frowned.

She stopped crying for a few seconds to give him the worst bitch face he thought he’d ever seen. “No, nothing’s wrong Eridan. That’s why I’m crying.”

“I meant, what’s wrong?” Eridan sighed, grabbing a pair of boxers and struggling to get them on without flashing her.

“He left me.”

“Who did?”

“My boyfriend.” Feferi sniffled. “I went to go ask Meenah for help and comfort, but she’s in the same situation and Cronus is helping her.”

“Oh.” Eridan wasn’t sure entirely how to do this kind of thing.

“And I just need someone to cry to.” Feferi shook her head. “Is that okay?”

“That’s fine.” Eridan nodded.

“Are you sure?” Feferi looked upset. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“It’s fine.” He shook his head.

Feferi pulled out her phone. “I want to delete all his pictures.”

“Do it.” Eridan smiled. “I’ll help you.”

As soon as Eridan saw the first picture of him, he felt a part of him grow hard that shouldn’t be. Not now. Not while Feferi is trying to get over him. But the boy was attractive, and Eridan couldn’t help himself. He had to have him. Well, he didn’t have to, and he figured it was best not to go after him, but he wanted someone like that.

He listened attentively as Feferi described what was going on in each of the pictures. She said that it would feel better if she talked about what they meant to her before she deleted them, and Eridan felt that it was reasonable.

From what he could gather, the boy’s name was Sollux Captor, and he was the same age as them. He was blind in one eye - though Feferi never figured out why, and she never saw his eyes - and he always wore dumb 3D glasses. She didn’t understand why. He said it was a joke with his best friend.

After a few deleted pictures, Feferi’s phone showed a nude. It was of him. Eridan grabbed his pillow and set it over his lap, claiming that it would make Feferi more comfortable to lean against him, when really he just wanted to cover himself up.

God, that nude was getting to him, and Feferi just left it open, explaining what was going on that led them to sending those pictures.

“We had sex the next night.” Feferi sighed. “And it was wonderful. He was gorgeous.”

“Was he?” Eridan nodded.

“Yes. Absolutely. He was amazing.” Feferi smiled weakly. “I’m pretty sure I loved him.”

“Wow. You sound pretty serious about him.” Eridan remarked. “How long were you two together?”

“Junior and senior year of high school.” She looked at him. “He had a girlfriend before me, though. She was so pretty and I was so jealous.”

“Really?” He frowned. “Who was she?”

“Aradia Megido.” She sighed, running her fingers through her hair. “She was gorgeous. I can see why he liked her.”

Eridan nodded, not really sure what to say.

“Anyway, this night I found one of his biggest kinks, and he sent me this showing that he was hard because of it.”

“What was it?” Eridan asked.

Feferi frowned. “That doesn’t matter.”

“Oh. Um, okay.” He shook his head.

“I don’t want to say something that might embarrass him.” Feferi sighed. “He broke up with me, but he wasn’t rude about it. It was smooth and clean, only I still feel upset about it.”

Eridan nodded.

“I’m sorry for being a hassle, Eridan. I really don’t mean it. I promise I’ll help you the next time you need it.” Feferi smiled weakly.

“It’s fine.” Eridan shrugged. “But I’ll hold you to that promise.” He chuckled.

She nodded. “So, I want to know what I’ve missed since we stopped talking.”

For the rest of the night, they talked about their lives since high school began. Eridan felt good getting everything off his chest. Feferi accepted everything he told her. He told her about Cronus, and how they almost had to have sex for their company. She laughed at that, and Eridan knew they were going to be good friends from there on out.

Eridan wasn’t sure why, but Feferi continued to talk about Sollux and all the things they did together. The more he listened to her tell those stories, the more he wanted to know him. Sollux sounded great. Eridan wondered if Sollux even knew who he was, but when Feferi mentioned that he was bisexual, Eridan perked up.

And not just mentally.

* * *

 

Eridan got up out of bed the next morning, still very sore. He headed straight for the shower without his glasses, fumbling his way through the room and trying to get the faucets working.

He always felt like he was missing something when he showered. Most of his friends claimed they used that time to jerk off, but he was never able to do that because he was putting his private areas to work all the time with his job. Of course, every now and then, Eridan would find some way to make it work, and he’d do it to the best of his ability.

Still, he often times felt left out of things. He and his friends were limited in conversation. They couldn’t talk about the typical things young adults could. Sex could never be brought up. Relationships were a no-no. Finding conversation starters was more often than not nearly impossible. Not to mention, most of his friends watched some of the content they put out.

When Eridan was done moping about his life, he got out of the shower, moving to get dressed. He grabbed his glasses first because he was blind without them, and trying to get dressed blindly could be catastrophic if the colors didn’t match. He didn’t have work that day, so he put on his regular outfit, skinny jeans and some kind of sweater with a scarf.

He was out the door in almost no time, but he was stopped by his brother.

“Eridan.”

“What?” He frowned.

“Where are you going?”

“To get coffee.”  
“That’s what I thought. Will you buy me some while you’re there? I’ll pay you back.”

“I’m walking, so it might be cold.”

Cronus let out a dramatic sigh that reminded Eridan that they were actually related. “Fine. Be that way.”

“It’s not my fault. I want to walk. I haven’t been outside in forever.”

“Whatever. Just go.” Cronus rolled his eyes. “I’ll make my own coffee here.”

Eridan grabbed his wallet and left the house. A few minutes into his walk, he ran into an old friend.

“Vriska?” He frowned.

She looked at him funny, then smiled. “Eridan! Wow, you look so different.” She ran her fingers through the middle of his hair, where the bleached spot was. “That’s new.”

“Yeah. I dyed it after you left. It was the end of high school. My dad paid for it. It was sort of a birthday present.”

She flashed him a smirk. “Don’t act like it’s for that. I know why you have it, you little slut.” She teased him, pushing him gently.

Eridan frowned. “Don’t call me that.”

“I was only joking. Come on. Let’s go eat lunch and talk about porn.”

* * *

 

After his lunch with Vriska, Eridan reported back to his father. He explained that Vriska wanted to be a porn star now, or something along those lines. His father was more than happy to welcome in another member, especially a girl. They mostly had boys in their company, so a girl was nice to have.

Eridan went to go do his other job, which was The List. Eridan was, as Cronus called it, “The List Master.” Essentially, Eridan’s job was to write down all the members they had and what they specialized in.

Underneath their latest member, he put Vriska’s name. At lunch, they’d talked about her being into almost anything, but especially role playing. Eridan explained to her that most porn was basically role playing because generally the members weren’t being completely themselves, and were usually playing a character.

Eridan glanced at his name, which was somewhere in the middle of all the names. He had a few specialties. Most of them were real, but he felt fake at times. In a majority of the movies, Eridan was the bottom. He didn’t mind it, but it would be nice to be on top every once and a while. Being on the bottom every single time started to do damage to his self esteem, and he felt that he wasn’t as powerful or as strong as he wanted to be.

Eridan wasn’t exactly strong physically, but he was very smart and clever. He always had a fascination with the things people weren’t supposed to be interested in. He was drawn to reading about genocides and holocausts. Eridan didn’t want to start any, but he always wondered what it was that got into someone’s mind and make them want to kill all of an entire race. He wanted to know everything about that tiny seed that could make someone do something powerful. He wanted to know how to get inside people’s heads to play them as a character, and he always went for the harder ones.

* * *

 

There was a knock on the door.

“Cronus get the door!” Eridan called.

“I’m busy!” Cronus yelled back. “You get it! You’re literally right there.”

Eridan sighed dramatically, paused his movie, and got up off the couch to answer it.

Feferi looked up at him.

“Oh, hey there.” He smiled at her.

“Hi.” She smiled back, though it looked sad.

“Are you still upset?”

“I’m still feeling really down about Sollux.” Feferi sighed.

“Do you want some ice cream or some kind of dessert? We have plenty of those to go around right now.” Eridan offered.

“No, it’s okay.” Feferi shook her head.

“Are you sure?”

She nodded. “I didn’t come here for food.”

“I understand.” Eridan smiled weakly. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“I thought you’d never ask.” Feferi grinned.


	3. Let Me In

“He’s not home. Come back later.” The boy tried to shut the door.

“Look, I just want to talk to him.” Eridan sighed.

“You don’t even know him.”

“My sister does.”

“He’s not-”

“KK, let him be.”

Eridan turned around. There he was in all his glory. Sollux Captor. His sister’s ex boyfriend. He was dressed in a plain gray shirt and sweatpants, and Eridan was thankful Sollux had been sweating because he looked even better that way. Not that there was much to look at, no bulging muscles or rippling abs. It was basically just skin and bone, and Eridan wasn’t going to complain. He was into all types of men.

“Where were you?” Karkat looked past Eridan.

“The gym.”

“Since when do you go to the gym?” Karkat made a face.

Sollux rolled his eyes. “Shut up. I make it my goal to get out once a week so I don’t get even more back problems than I already have.”

Finally, Sollux seemed to fix his eyes on Eridan. He looked at him for a long time before looking up at Karkat again.

“Do you know this guy?” Karkat crossed his arms.

“Yeah.” Sollux nodded. “Eridan Ampora.”

Eridan felt his face grow red.

“As in…..Cronus Ampora?” Karkat looked like he might puke.

“He’s my brother.” Eridan nodded.

“Are you part of that whole….thing too?” Karkat frowned.

“Yeah.” He nodded.

“Come on, KK. Surely you’ve heard me.” Sollux chuckled.

Karkat blinked. “This?” He gestured to Eridan. “This is your entertainment? This is the guy you get off to?”

Sollux laughed. “Way to piece things together, KK.” He set a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t touch me.” Karkat snapped, moving away.

Sollux rolled his eyes. “Alright. Why’s he here?”

“Something about wanting to talk to you.”

Sollux raised an eyebrow and looked back at Eridan. “Well….I have a tight schedule today, but I could probably squeeze you in somewhere.”

“Sollux you’re just going to play Dragon Age with Pyrope all day.” Karkat frowned.

“I’m going to go shower.” Sollux glanced back at Eridan. “Come with me. Let’s chat.”

“While you’re showering?” Eridan frowned.

“Well, you can sit on the toilet and talk to me while I shower.”

Eridan was more than willing to do that.

Sollux led him to the bathroom and put the toilet seat down before instructing him to sit. Eridan sat, watching him closely. Sollux turned the water on and let it run until it was his desired temperature.

“So, why are you here to talk to me?” He asked, stripping down right in front of Eridan.

Eridan tried to focus. “Um….you dated my sister.”

Sollux frowned. “Really? I’ve only ever dated two girls, neither of them were named-”

“Feferi Peixes.” Eridan spoke up.

“Oh.” Sollux nodded. “Yeah. We just broke up recently.”

“I know. That’s kind of why I’m here.”

Sollux pulled his boxers down and got into the shower, though he didn’t really bother to hide anything along the way. Eridan saw that he looked even better than in the picture.

“If you’re trying to get me to take her back-”

“I’m not. I’m just here to find out why you broke up with her. She doesn’t know why you did, and it really hurt her a lot when it happened.”

Sollux didn’t answer for a while. “I just wasn’t feeling it anymore.”

“That’s bullshit.” Eridan frowned.

“It’s not something I feel comfortable discussing with you.” Sollux replied.

“That’s….” Eridan thought for a moment. “That’s alright. I’d probably feel the same way.” He stood up, ready to leave.

“You know what I do want to feel though?”

“Hmm?” Eridan wasn’t sure why this conversation was still going on.

“Me inside you.”

Eridan blinked. “What?”

“You heard me.” Sollux popped his head out of the shower.

Eridan pulled his belt off and unzipped his jeans.

When he stepped inside the shower, he saw Sollux grinned at him.

“I didn’t really think you’d get in.” He chuckled.

“Well, I think you’re really hot.” He shrugged.

“I’m glad to hear it. I think you are too. I watch your videos. They’re very good.”

“There’s going to be one soon.” Eridan mumbled.

“Really? I’ll have to check it out.” Sollux grinned, pulling him closer. “You are safe, right?”

“Everyone in our company is, yes.”

“Great.”

* * *

Eridan came back with nothing to report and a sore ass. Not that he regretted anything.

He ended up leaving soon after they got out of the shower. He never got Sollux’s number, but he knew wanted to come back again soon. He enjoyed his stay very much. Although guilt was definitely high up in his brain, he also didn’t feel too bad about  the whole thing. They had broken up after all.

He shouldn’t feel bad about it, right? There was no reason to.

Yet he just felt awful about it. He wanted Feferi to still like him, but he was sure Feferi hated him. He figured Sollux probably took the opportunity to brag and told her all about it. That worried him. He didn’t want her to know.

Feferi didn’t text him or ask how it went that night, which made him think she knew about it. He was terrified. He knew that the Peixes could be terrifying if they were upset. He’d seen Meenah lash out at Cronus a few times. Though she would usually end up apologizing later, it was still scary to watch.

Eridan decided he had to make things right.

* * *

He went back again the next day to Sollux’s house.

Apparently Sollux never answered the door, as a tall man opened it up. “Hello.”

“Hi, I-”

“Dual?”

“No, I’m his-”

“Oh, you’re the….shit, what’s his name….Cronus?”

“Eridan.” He frowned.

“Oh.” The man nodded. “Right. The other one. I only ever met Cronus, though he was extremely young. I got him started on Harry Potter, you know.”

“And look at where that got him…..”

The man frowned. “Well, what do you need? Are you trying to sell us porn? Because - trust me - we have enough Ampora porn in here to feed an army.”

“Are you Mr. Captor?” Eridan asked.

He nodded. “Yes. Why?”

“You have a lisp.”

He frowned. “That’s-”

“No, I just didn’t realize it was a genetic thing.” Eridan shook his head. “I have nothing against it. I just wasn’t sure how Sollux got his.”

“Born with different bite.” He shrugged.

“Oh.” Eridan nodded. “Okay. Can I speak to Sollux?”

“Second door to the left.” Mr. Captor gestured to it.

“Thank you.” Eridan mumbled, opening the door carefully when he got there.

“Who’s there?” Sollux barely glanced up from his spot.

“Eridan.”

“I’m gonna kick your fucking ass, KK.” Sollux mumbled.

Eridan hadn’t even noticed Karkat, who was sitting far back behind Sollux.

“Yeah right. As if.” Karkat frowned, mashing the buttons on his controller harder and faster.

“Button mashing gets you nowhere, bud.” Sollux chuckled.

“Shut the fuck up, Captor.” Karkat snapped.

“Um….Should I come back later?”

Sollux looked up at Eridan. “No, just have a seat. We’ll be done in a second.”

That was enough time to throw Sollux off, as Karkat aggressively button mashed his way to victory.

“Ha! Take that, you bitch!” Karkat grinned, pushing Sollux’s head teasingly as he walked past. “I’ll just….leave you two alone.”

The door shut and Eridan frowned.

“So, did you come back for more?” Sollux asked. “Because I’m kind of busy today.”

“Playing video games?”

“I have some chores to do.” He shrugged. “Some people to go see about things.”

“Oh.” Eridan nodded. “Well, I just wanted to talk to you.”

“Do you think you could come with me then?” He looked up, holding out his hand. “We can talk in the car.”

“Sure.” Eridan took his hand, helping him up.

“Great. Let’s go.”

Eridan followed him to the car, which was pretty beat up and old.

“Does this thing drive?”

“Don’t pull a Christian Grey and buy me a new one.” Sollux chuckled.

“I wasn’t going to. I was just noticing.”

* * *

Sollux dropped Eridan off outside his house when they were done.

“This is it.” Eridan mumbled.

“See you….later, maybe.” Sollux shrugged.

“Yeah. Later.”

“Bye.”

Sollux started driving off.

“Wait!” Eridan called after him, hurrying after the car.

Sollux stopped. “What?”

“Can I have you number?”


End file.
